@Former-Member @Shaz51 @Scoo @FindingStrength @Sophie1 the post crisis care really resonates... Well actually lots of points do but because I'm playing catch-up with all the wonderful posts and reading them all at once, that's the bit that sticks out most.

I often feel quite numb and flat following a crisis, and had begun to wonder whether it was depression or whether it was about being unhappy on my relationship with MsJ. On reflection, times of crisis were certainly not a highlight but the relationship is still fundamentally good so as I do, I tended to make it my fault - if my own mental health was better I would cope better.

But post crisis care seems like such a logical and simple concept, but one I hadn't considered at those times! 

Thanks as always for the enlightenment and for everyone's input!