Hi @Electricgirl1 Good on you for having the strength to share with us.

Please do not blame yourself, you are speaking your love language, I understand as my love language is the same (and I'm going through something similar myself). Often different people have different love languages, which can be challenging. 

It would've been lovely if he had've stayed and you could've supported each other, built each other up, unfortunately we don't all think, feel and love in the same way.

You've done the right thing going no contact as it gives you time to rebuild and focus on you and your needs. See it as if you make a beautiful garden that you love being in, soon enough someone may come along to share in that garden, help you care for it and make a better garden together.

Depression sucks bigtime! and I'm glad you're getting treatment.

Don't lose hope you'll make it through this, just be gentle on yourself, and listen to what your mind, body and soul needs. In regards to not knowing what to do, just do your best, don't forget your best varies from day to day. One day it could be getting out of bed and having breakfast, another day it could be climbing mount Everest.

Don't be afraid to reach out to your support network (friends& Family etc) or here, there's always someone around.

Also if you need a bit of a pick me up there's inspiring memes in the ~ The Toolshed ~ or if you're after some humorous memes there's the The Ice-Memery or if poetry is your thing maybe take a stroll over to Roses are red, violets are blue, here's a poetry thread, from me to you! (TW)