Dear @Former-Member You sound like you can recognise the triggers and take steps to resolve those down feelings. Forgert about the pills and find what it is that you are looking for. Distractions are great but in order to move on you must get in touch with who you really are as a person. Have you thought about painting? Put your feelings onto a canvas maybe. Remind yourself that you have all the qualities of a great human being, a happy one at that. You can do this.