Feeling...

[Former-Member]

A mixture of numb and I'm not sure how to describe it but like there's a buffering wall between me and the rest of the world and nothing is different from anything else - someone yelling at me or someone talking to me is just all the same except then all of a sudden I cry and there's no reason. Then back to nothingness. I don't know who I am or where the living me has gone.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member,

You sound very tired from your strenuous efforts to hold together mothering, teaching and legal struggles. You may be sleep deprived and there may not be enough time to process everything you are going through. I don't think you are crying for no reason. But you may be too tired to connect fully with the feelings. 

How often are you able to see your psychologist and/or psychiatrist and/or GP? When are the next school holidays due for you? Is it possible to take the second half of the year off work to recuperate? I understand if that is not possible but you do seem to be under a lot of stress. I simply don't know how you do it all with MI as well. To me, you are a marvel. Please remember how far you have come since you and I first met on the forum. You are now managing many more things, even if it feels very hard to do.

Always wishing you well.

[Tyler77]

I think thats called disasociating, Where you like obeserve your reality from like the back seat, kinda on autopilot.  Disconnected from emotion and the world.  Its a coping mechanism usually brought on from PTSD of some kind.  It protects the self from being hurt by disassociating from the world.

I think i only became like this a few times and most of it was drug induced.  

[Former-Member]

Hi @Mazarita 

Yeah i think you're right about tiredness. i see my psychologist once a fortnight as she's only in this town one week then another town for a week interstate. I see my psychiatrist once every 3 months and due to see him next week but not sure what he will say about things now. 

Hi @Tyler77 

I'm sorry you have felt like it before.. i have ptsd too. I only take my medication though.. no other drugs or alcohol. I wish i could just be normal.

lj

[eth]

Hi @Former-Member  sending you s

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

I'm so sorry to read things are rough at the moment. Even when you're feeling so down, you have an amazing way to articulate yourself.

Has something happened to cause you to feel this way? Some added stress or an incident - or do you think it's a build up of things?

Nik

[Former-Member]

just too many things going on and never ending. people keep saying i just have to keep going.

[Faith-and-Hope]

💌 ... ❤️❤️❤️

I hope you are feeling better soon @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

thank you @Faith-and-Hope 

Beautiful blue bird

[Former-Member]

So tired but can't sleep or settle. Feeling so alone in everything that is happening. So tired of the battle of it all