Hi @Former-Member Mother is such a huge ideal. As women we want to be the eternal feminine nourishing encouraging and giving to our children. It is such a beautiful thing to witness our own children happy and free and experimenting and creating with energy and enthusiasm. I was into CSIRO's Double Helix club with mine. I would have loved to do a lot more with them.
I probably idealised everything too. In love with love, but no clue .. its what hurt kids like you and I, do when we grow up. The pressure to create memories for our kids that will sustain them is real and necessary for them. But we dont know how to relax and take those breathers that @Faith-and-Hope mentions. One important parenting skill has been learning to pace myself.
The issue about the court continued medical appointments regardless of affordability seems odd. A system that is feeding itself rather the people it is meant to serve. Can you raise it with your legal team.
I know you want the best for your kids. But your survival and well being is crucial. I know it might be a while before things are plain sailing but you have to be viable, and so does your family's budget. To do that, you need to be the one to decide the discretionary spending. It was so different to my case .. I am sorry I cant help you more .. but I do think about you .. and notice when you dont post.
accept your feelings ... they are what they are .. be aware .. but not too self-critical ...
