Functioning with ADHD

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I do need to work on self acceptance. I don’t blame myself. I just feel like I’ve been contaminated by someone else’s actions. It’s hard to explain.

We only need to commit to 4 hours every fortnight as the bare minimum, we can obviously do more if we feel up to it.

Good afternoon @rav3n weekend was good, however, I did get a bad migraine attack on the day I went out. It’s a lot better now. It wasn’t a super busy weekend. Went out of Saturday, and had a Lifeline shift yesterday afternoon for 3 hrs. How was your weekend?

[rav3n]

@creative_writer sounds like a nice weekend, hope the Persian food was good! how'd the lifeline shift go? 

[creative_writer]

@rav3n it wasn’t as good as I remembered it to be, it was still decent. Lifeline shift went well, still getting the hang of having shifts again

[creative_writer]

Trying to navigate my thoughts rn. How can I believe the trauma wasn’t my fault but feel contaminated? It makes no sense

[AuntGlow]

Good evening @creative_writer, here with you. Let's explore this together... trauma is complex and when it comes to things like anxiety, it often comes up due to a deeper need for control and a fear of the unknown... so whilst we may be able to rationalise how trauma wasn't our fault, the more primitive/survival parts of our brain are still firing when they feel under threat, and that's when intrusive thought and rumination cycles can come into play. I find that this is often due to the mind trying to 'make sense' of our discomfort or fear... it can be SO hard to sit with, because once upon a time, feeling that way meant you weren't safe. (Even though you are now.) 💛 Does that make sense at all? 

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I do believe a control aspect can come in, because in certain situations people can lose that control. I think there is a lot of pent up anger over what has been done. I never wanted to be a part of this inhumane trauma. I do think I need to at some point let go of that anger, but I’m just not sure when I can and how

[creative_writer]

I feel like I’m not supposed to be angry anymore. Trying to not be angry isn’t working

[creative_writer]

Maybe one day I'll figure out how to let go of anger. Right now, I can't stop being angry

[creative_writer]

I’ve tried so hard but in the end my efforts are useless. It’s my fault I’m like this. I need to stop ruminating and get a life like everyone else. I need to stop being sick all the time too, because that’s also my fault too. I’m just too lazy and stupid to function like everyone else

[AuntGlow]

I think anger is so completely valid here... I am assuming someone you loved broke your trust and sense of safety, so of course you are feeling angry. This would be so confusing and painful to sit with... anger cycles are really normal in this instance. Have you talked about ways to release anger in therapy at all before? 

Also, I am curious to know when you notice this anger is less present? @creative_writer 🩷