I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I can’t believe it but they have been really considerate about my back @tyme. They actually care and no eye rolls. 

I gave Pixie a treat so she didn’t want me to play 

 

[tyme]

OMG. I'm smiling from ear to ear. How cute!!!!! @Captain24 . Dog with a bone eh? Was the other dog jealous? 

[tyme]

I'm so glad they are considerate of your back.... IF perchance you opened up about your MH, do you think they'd also be considerate? Just a thought.

@Captain24 

[Captain24]

I gave the Pix the bone at our place. @tyme. Angel had doggy chocolate at her place. 

If my parents were like this all the time, I would consider it. I do have moments where I think I could tell them but the only thing I can guarantee is the negative judgment. 

I would love to be able to ask for their support. But I can and will do this essentially alone! I have you guys and my team 

[tyme]

Fair enough @Captain24 . I'm not sure I'd want to tell my parents either. I think they'd interfere too much. I wanted to make the journey without people imposing on me. Because I knew if I had an inner desire to get better, I would. I didn't want to 'get better' for other people's sake. It had to be for my own sake.

[Captain24]

I’m doing it for me @tyme. I will get better. I know I fail a lot but I’m hoping that as I move along in recovery I will fail less and less. Tonight is an ok one even through the extreme pain. Tonight I’m not a failure. 

[tyme]

I agree you are not a failure... tonight, or any night @Captain24 . And I'm sure Pix agrees! Pix is on top of the world with that treat! You are a godsend in Pix's eyes!

[tyme]

I really hope your back gets better soon! @Captain24 

[Captain24]

The rest of my life, however long or short it is, is going to be hard work. @tyme. I will work to be strong enough to deal with the manic and depressive episodes. I have to stop seeing it as failing. I just struggle with that right now. 

I just need to focus on the line from the movie last night. ‘I have an illness, I am not the illness!’

That movie was amazing! ‘Words on bathroom walls’ 

Im guessing you are heading off now. Thank you for today. I hope you sleep well and that your headache has eased. Enjoy tomorrow. 

[tyme]

Goodnight. Speak to you sometime during the week @Captain24 . Hope your back is 100% by the time I speak to you next, and you can then do gymnastics lol!