I can’t cope

[tyme]

I'm sorry if you have covered this in earlier posts, but is there anything you can do about the group? Or anything they can do? @Captain24 I'm sorry it feel so hard this time.

From my own group experiences, I don't know if I've shared in the past already, but there was one person in my group that I really didn't get along with - at all... and the group was for 18 months. It was very very trying each time that person spoke. I had to do a lot of self talk and unpack each situation with my psychologist because this person triggered me so much each time. 

Long story short, what I learnt from the experience is, that's life. There's people you like and people you don't like. I had to cop both. It taught me patience, it helped a grow a bit of a fuse, and really, I had to suck it up even though I was dying inside. 

To this day, do I like that person? No. Do I regret being in a group with her? Also no. It taught me a lot of valuable lessons.

In live, I've always had an avoidant approach to things. That is, if I don't like it or it doesn't suit me, walk away. But this group session made me seek out other strategies.

I absolutely get that our 'groups' are quite different, but I just thought sharing this experience about having learnt something from it, may help you hang in there a bit more.

Thinking of you.

Sorry if it's ME who's gone on a tangent this time!

[Captain24]

I don’t know if you will get this @tyme 

I have spoken to the coordinators about how I feel. How much it’s getting to me. So we will see what happens but one of the other girls has said a similar thing but she doesn’t feel as silenced as I do.

If I wasn’t so unwell maybe I could tolerate it better. I’m usually pretty easy going. But this is causing me some distress. I’m ok with extended responses but they can go on for like 10 minutes. 

That must have been hard. I don’t have anyone to unpack it with. I’m ok with not being liked, one of them does like me though so I feel really bad for thinking this way. 

Im glad you were able to see much more than what was happening and you could learn from it. Maybe I will see it soon. 

Hahaha no tangent but some times I don’t see that I can do it. That I won’t make it. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 

Just been catching up on your thread a bit. I've noticed how much you've been standing up and advocating for yourself during this stay - Speaking up when something isn't sitting well with you, or is affecting your time there. That's not an easy thing to do at all, it's something I myself can really struggle with, so I wanted to take a sec to appreciate the strength you've shown in doing this.

With this recent group situation, it's good that you brought it up as I was wondering if it's maybe something the group facilitator should be more aware of to help these people stay on topic and keep the conversation moving. 

When's the next group? 

[Snowie]

@Captain24 💕💕

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Snowie how's your day going?

[Captain24]

😢

[Jynx]

@Captain24  🥺🫂

[Captain24]

Sorry I left the chat. My Pdoc came in. She is concerned about me. She is concerned about my level of depression. It’s worse than when she saw me earlier on in the week. She thinks it’s the content that is causing me issues. 

Im not allowed to stay in my room. I have to find people to talk to. If I feel that I need to leave group and go to the beach then that’s what im supposed to do. 

I said that I can’t stay longer as I need to get my windscreen fixed and get a pink slip. She is trying to work out a way that I can get it done here. So I can stay for a few extra days. 

Im in so much pain. There is one nurse to talk to and she is with the same patient as she has been with every night she has been on. 

[tyme]

Awww @Captain24 ,

Do you think it is a depressive episode?

[Captain24]

I’m not sure if it’s an actual episode or if it’s cPTSD related. @tyme Im hoping for trauma related. It’s easier to shift. I do have a lot of support with her though. 

Im really not ok and to admit it to her shows how bad it is. I just want to break down. I need a really good meltdown. Maybe if I can just let myself crack it might start to ease.