I can’t cope

[tyme]

It sounds like you have been holding it in for so long. Do what you need to. Talk to someone while you are there. If you need to open up, and feel safe to do so, please do.

Sitting with you @Captain24 

[Captain24]

I have @tyme. It’s like I have emotionally shut down. I need to crack I really do but I  just don’t know how. 

Im in hospital I should be feeling better. 

The longer I’m in here the more confidence I’m losing. 

I wish I knew how to let someone help me. 

[tyme]

Maybe the thought of "I should be better" is what is making it more difficult? 

@Captain24 . Recovery is not easy. If you are going into the clinic as part of your recovery, it means stepping outside your comfort zones. I feel that maybe feeling this way shows movement? At the same time, there's a balance between movement and feeling utterly held down.

I hope you can speak to someone about it.

[Captain24]

Sorry @tyme 

Sorry for being on repeat and still complaining and being so depressed when I’m in a place that I need to be in

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

Don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. Use this time to show yourself some compassion.

[Captain24]

I don’t k ow if I can keep going here. I feel like it’s too much and too hard. I’m just isolating myself and lying in my bed. I don’t want to be with anyone. I don’t want to see anyone. I just want to be left alone. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Captain24 I'm sorry this is still feeling so hard. I'm here with you. I know you want to be alone but I'm around if you want company on here.

I hear that every day is a new challenge there that you're not sure how to get through, but you are getting through the days and that shows strength, even though you might not be feeling very strong right now.

What do you have on today? 

[Captain24]

Hi @Ru-bee 

I’m not sure if I can keep going. Even though I know I have to. I laid on my bed for an hour had lunch and I’m back here now until group starts at 1:30. 

[Ru-bee]

I know in the past just focusing on the short term rather than the bigger picture has been helpful right @Captain24 ? 

So maybe just focusing on getting through this group, then getting through the afternoon to dinner, then getting through to bed time? Just focusing on taking the next little step

[Captain24]

I got through group @Ru-bee. I did walk out when they talked about self injury. The facilitator followed me and I said it was triggering especially with how I’m feeling. So we skipped it. 

When I was finished group and was walking to my room. Another facilitator stopped me because she didn’t think I looked ok. She sat with me and made me talk to that little girl inside of me. It was a long discussion. I was close to breaking down and I couldn’t so she took me back to my room and left me. I cried hysterically, she came to my door a couple of times and could hear me so she waited until I was quiet and came back in. She was fantastic. While I’m still in so much pain, I do feel a little lighter.