I can’t cope

[tyme]

Heya @Captain24 ,

No, you're not being stalkerish lol. Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you. Sorting out some tech issues from earlier on 🙂

I read that you are in a bit of a rough patch and you have those strong unhelpful voices just at you???

As for my back, it's slightly better than yesterday... it'll be okay soon - i hope lol.

Are you having dinner at your parents?

Oh, and I read something about your uncle having an accident?

[Captain24]

Im glad your back is slightly better! @tyme. I have been wondering. How are you otherwise 

No dinner at my parents… dad drove over to the hospital he is having radiation at tonight. Plus I don’t want to move Pix anymore than necessary. 

My uncle is in the same hospital as my dad goes to. He has just come out of surgery and dad is sitting with him. 

Yeah it’s hard.. I can’t help but believe them. 

[tyme]

Can't help but 'believe them'? @Captain24  Am I missing something? Be kind to yourself. You have such a soft heart, and that's the hard part. You feel guilty when you can't help someone. But remember, you can't possibly help everyone....

I couldn't help my niece yesterday. I nearly killed her tamagotchi pet. I was on my back and couldn't move around much. She went out and her mum didn't let her take the tama. I was supposed to look after it. But I totally forgot about it. It started beeping just before my niece got home. It was hungry sad and needed to be cleaned.... but it had fallen asleep so you can't do any of those things when it's asleep.

Then today, same thing. She told me to look after it because she wasn't allowed to take it. I said yes, but totally totally forgot. My niece has now deduced that I'm a bad babysitter and has given me the sack....

Sorry! I can't help you when it comes to digital pets...

We can't help everyone...

[Captain24]

Yeah I’m believing those voices @tyme.

It’s so hard, I know I’m way to sensitive when it comes to helping people. I beat myself up all the time over it. I beat myself up because I can’t help, then I beat myself up for caring to much about not being able too. If I can’t help I feel like my heart isn’t big enough. I think that makes a little sense. 

Not to self… don’t let you look after digital pets. 😂 One bonus is you don’t have that responsibility now! 

My cousin got him over there and her kids are adults so she was free but I still feel bad as my uncle asked for me. I don’t know why though.. I would have given him a hard time about being drunk! He has a drinking problem, it’s definitely inherited, a lot of my family do. 

[tyme]

I used to want to save everyone. But since working in MH, I've learnt that we can't.

There are things that only an individual can do. No one can make anyone do anything they don't want. No one can stop you uncle drinking. It's up to him.

You do what you can, and that's all anyone can ask @Captain24 

[Captain24]

Yeah.. he knows where he is headed. @tyme. One of his brothers died about 15 yrs ago and I told him that this would be him in 20 yrs. At least he does work unlike his brother did. But it’s his choice. 

I need to toughen up or it will be my demise.

How is the guy going in your house? 

Also can we post videos on here? I want to show you Pixies tantrum! 

[tyme]

I'd love to see Pix's tantrum, but I don' think you can post your own vids. I think it's only video URLs like Youtube etc. @Captain24 

Yeah, you need to protect yourself when it comes to trying to help everyone. It just isn't sustainable to 'save the world'. Hard reality to the kindest people in the world.

I think the guy is going okay. I haven't spoken to him. I msgd him one morning to let him know that the gardener was coming. He's like, "Yeah... I woke up to him blowing the leaves outside my window". I'm said, "Ooops! Sorry!"

He's a really nice guy though. Oh, he secured a job which he is happy about. He is a tradie, but doesn't want to do it anymore because he finds it too boring. Instead, he wanted to work in retail. So, voila! He got a bunnings-style job where he sells tools and equipment to people.

[Captain24]

I really struggle with the kindness thing @tyme. It’s like I feel their pain and want to help take it away. It’s kinda like I put myself in their shoes. Then it leaves a massive ache in my heart when I can’t help. I don’t think it’s a bad trait to have but I do think that sometimes it’s not a helpful one either, you can go way too far. I think my biggest problem is the latter one. Im not sure if that makes sense. Im not very articulate! 

Bugger about the video, it’s so cute.

Sounds like the perfect job for him. Helping customers but with his own knowledge. Sounds like he is doing really well for himself. See you have an immensely kind heart! 

[tyme]

I've come to terms with the idea of 'moderation' - everything must be in moderation. Too much harms, too little also harms @Captain24 

Just like our empathy. Too much harms. Too little also harms. 

Nothing is bad. It's about how we balance things in life. Thoughts?

[Captain24]

I see what you are saying. @tyme 

I need to try and find that balance. I could never do too little, that’s just not in my nature. Just kindness within my control? The serenity prayer just came to mind. 

If only I could be that kind to myself. I know you have all been saying it but me realising how kind I can be to others has warmed my heart. Maybe, just maybe I might be able to learn to be. I’ve just had a glimmer of hope, albeit a small glimmer but at least it’s a glimmer.