My Mosaic

[amber22]

Hey @Bow I'm sitting with you and I'm here with you if you wanted to chat ❤️

I've also just sent an email checking in when you have the capacity to reply that would be great

Amber22

[Bow]

It all just feels too much
Too hard
Feel so abandoned

[Bow]

I seen my case manager this morning. I did not want to be there. I barely said anything. She wanted me to talk about how I was feeling about the news of my psychologist leaving and I did not want to talk to her about it. She again talked about an admission. She mentioned ECT again. I did ask her if it could be done as an outpatient, she said she didn’t think so. She also organised another appointment with my pdoc since I skipped that on Monday. 

I then went to an appointment with my gp. The first thing she said is what had I done to my hands. They are a right mess. And they are sore. I skipped a social engagement this morning with ladies from my church small group cause I didn’t want anyone to see them. Not that I wanted to be there anyways. I told my gp I wanted to end my life. She was… is super concerned and said that she would give my case manager a call. Which she did once I left, who then called my mum. 

I really am at the end of my rope. I think I need the decision taken out of my hands before I take things into my own hands. But I don’t want police and ambulances involved. 

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Bow 

That's so brave to be open with your GP. Such a hard thing to do but so important. 

We have also sent an email checking in with you if you wanted to keep an eye out for it. 

We are all here with you 💛 

[Snowie]

@Bow 

Wow hon, it has been a huge day for you hon. You have been so brave to firstly go to the appointments, and then to open up as much as you did. I know how hard it is sometimes to open up to our supports.

Being released from hospital the past week, I can understand how hard that decision is and how much it is sometimes taken out of our hands.

All I can say is whatever you decide, I wish you all the best and will be here for you.

Sending lots of love, support and encouragement your way 💕💕💕

[Bow]

What do I need to do??

[creative_writer]

@Bow, sitting with you 🫂💖

[Eve7]

Sending lots of love and prayers @Bow I understand the feeling of not wanting to be in hospital and sometimes it is just better to have the decision made for us so long as it’s done respectfully without emergency services. Having said that I went to hospital with emergency services recently and they couldn’t have been more respectful and understanding.

ECT has saved my life, if I’m truly honest. There is memory loss but it does come back eventually.

I am proud of you for opening up to your GP. That took a lot of courage hon.

Sitting with you.

Eve 💜

[Snowie]

@Bow 

Only you can answer that hon.

We can offer suggestions but only you can do what you think is right.

Just know that whatever you think is right for you, we are here to support you.

[Bow]

@Snowie You do ECT as an outpatient? Is that cause you are a private patient? What about you @Eve7 ? I was really disappointed when my CM told me today that she didn’t think it could be done as an outpatient here. She sounded pretty certain of it. But I will ask my pdoc on Friday. I had been considering…. 

Wondering if anyone seen… or read….. I watched a video by NSW police today stating that from July pdocs will be able to start prescribing ecstasy or MDMA for PSTD and treatment resistant depression…..