Struggling with MH

[magpie4]

Hi, I had  posted some stuff on here a week ago, but I must have done something incorrectly as i never go any replies, but thats ok.

Am still strugging with the same thing.  I know I have to keep positive thoughts in my head, but it does not work.  I cant talk any more to the family as they dont understand, or so it seems, they tell me to think positive and it will help.  I am struggling so much with this, I cant stand it.  I miss the person I was with so much and everything we did, but it is what it is, it cant be changed.  They had already moved on 5 months ago, which I did not know and so my heart has been ripped out as I now realise it was pointless letting this person know how I felt, and I have just been told now, that he has been with someone ihe met more than 5 months ago, while with me.  I am not a young person, and this has devasted me, as I am extremely loyal and honest and thought this person was the same. 

[Snowie]

Hi @magpie4 

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much at the moment. It must be hard both physically and mentally. Break ups can really affect us a lot. It is very much like losing a loved one, a mourning time.

If only thinking positive would be the solution to all our problems. If only it was that easy.

Is there anything that helps you get through the days that you enjoy?

I know you said you can't talk to your family, but do you have any supports that you can talk to?

Please keep posting on here 

[tyme]

Hey @magpie4 ,

Great to see you again. Were you referring to this thread here?

https://saneforums.org/t5/Something-s-not-right/struggling-with-MH/td-p/1341132

What you can do is that when people reply to you, you can tag them into your posts to that they can reply to you again e.g. @tyme @magpie4 . That way, your posts and thread won't get 'lost' 🙂

Let us know if you need any help with this.

[magpie4]

thank you @Snowie.  I can speak about it to the family, but they are getting frustrated with me because the think I am not changing my mindset.  I try to keep busy outside of the house with a sport I enjoy, which is golf, but then when I come home, it is the same again, crying, constantly thinking of this person, which I do even when I am out as we both enjoyed this sport together as well.  I am now struggling to keep up with work that I have to do, luckily I work from home, but usually I keep on top of it.

[magpie4]

I can talk to the family but they are getting frustrated with me as they say I am not changing my mindset and so keeping myself depressed.  I do have a sport that I enjoy, golf, but even when playing this I am thinking of him.  We both had enjoyed this sport together.  I constantly think about him and how we enjoyed so much and blame myself for what has happened.  I am to blame because my "love language" was not the same as his, but I loved him.  But ultimately, he looked for someone else while with me and I never thought he would do such a thing. I am now struggling with my work, I am exhausted in my head, and constantly crying over this and missing him so much 

[Snowie]

I can't even start to imagine what you are going through at the moment. It really does sound like you are mourning his loss, and this is so normal @magpie4 Unfortunately it does take time to get heal and move on. 

I don't think anyone chooses to be depressed. Perhaps your family don't understand just how much you are trying to move on with your life. It does sound like you need someone to listen. I hope that you find this forum a safe place to be able to express how you are feeling.

I'm sure there are others out there that have been through this and can offer you some advice.

[magpie4]

I definitely need to speak to someone, I cant just be on my own with my thoughts and not say them out loud, but I understand everyone has their own lives and issues to deal with and cant always listen to me.   my son says I am too negative and I dont understand this, as the things I tell him about actually ARE negative, that is why I am so upset!

[tyme]

Hey @magpie4 , we're here if you need a chat 🙂

[magpie4]

! by chat, do you mean to speak or type?

[tyme]

Hey @magpie4 ,

Yes. You can type here, or, alternatively, have you ever spoken to our lovely counsellors on the drop-in line? https://www.sane.org/get-support on 1800 187 263 (M-F 10am-8pm AEST/AEDT). There might be a bit of a wait, but when you get through, they are amazing.