Lived Experience Forum

[Lisa58]

Hi , I have been cheated on whilst going through radiotherapy.  I am not coping and finding it hard to move forward. I need help to keep going. This was never suspose to happen to us. I am scared. He said he would never hurt me and we would grow old together.  I feel it has effected me emotionally and mentally I feel like I am not coping. I have started new medication at night to help me rest , it does not seem to be helping me. :-(. I need some coping skills and help , the breathing technique is not helping. I am distraught and heart broken. Please help and pray for me. My family needs me. Lisa58

[Jynx]

Hi @Lisa58  welcome to the forums. I'm so, so sorry to hear that you are going through such a painful situation, it is never ever easy to lose someone we love, especially when it is to a betrayal like this. 

While breathing helps to calm our nervous system, sometimes it is just not enough - not when we are sitting with heartbreak. But keep doing it anyway, and also remember that it is normal to be an absolute mess when you are processing such a significant loss. 

It's awesome that you are reaching out in a new space, there's a lot of wonderfully kind and compassionate people here to help support you through this. You can also have a read through some older threads that might help, like this thread about Managing Depression and this thread about Grief. 

I will also tag in the amazing @Shaz51, one of our community guides - Shaz you posted an awesome picture earlier with self-care tips for when you're grieving, do you think you could share it here as well? Please and Thanks!!

I hope you find this to be a wonderfully nurturing and safe space for you in this difficult time @Lisa58 🤗💜

[wild_rose]

Hi @Lisa58 

I just wanted to reach out and say I'm so sorry to hear of your predicament and how awful it must be for you I also just wanted to say you're not alone. My partner of 10 years left me for another woman, he cheated numerous times throughout that period and I was dumb enough to forgive.

Try being kind to yourself you're going through a lot, allow yourself to fall apart, it ok.As for coping skills I'll try and explain what helped me, do you have supportive friends? For me I was super lucky I had friends to talk to on my bad days and reached out when needed. This site was and is also a great help.

I threw myself into creating a new life for myself. I got my own place and took the time and space I needed to heal. I'm still healing now and still have my bad days.

Do you have any hobbies? I also threw myself into my hobbies to keep me going, knitting, diamond dots and colour by number pictures helped me pass the the time and distract me from the loneliness I experienced and still do experience from time to time.

[Shaz51]

@wild_rose , @Lisa58 

[Bow]

Hi @Lisa58 

Im so sorry this has happened to you and at a time when you are so vulnerable and going through radiotherapy. I’m truly sorry. 

my now ex husband cheated on me. And when doing a bit of digging, he was cheating on me when I was in hospital after giving birth to our daughter.

I remember the overwhelming horrible feelings I had when I discovered what he was doing. Like you I thought we would grow old together and nothing like this was ever suppose to happen to us…. To me. It’s heartbreaking. I felt so broken. So distraught. 

Do you have someone in real life that you can sit down and process this with? That was so important for me. To sit down with a trusted friend and talk. Yes it was hard, I was a snotty mess, but at the same time it felt so good to cry in the safety of a trusted friend. 

please give yourself some time, be gentle and kind to yourself 

🎀

[Eve7]

Hello @Lisa58  I will pray for you and sit with you. I am so sorry this has happened to you at such a vulnerable time.

I hope you have a friend or family who will walk beside you while you process what has happened. This is not going to be easy but you don’t have to take giant leaps into the unknown, just baby steps minute by minute while healing takes place. 

Lots of love ❤️🙏❤️