Lived Experience Forum

[Steven78]

Hi .I appreciate you writing to me ,as I do others but I don't honestly think it is helpful on this format. I know people probably mean well but I was hoping to speak to someone ,that in essence is why I typed my post originally.
I get that it is a forum so that's my mistake .


As fir the isolation I really don't have a choice in the matter. I've tried everywhere to reach out. Unfortunately there is no where left for me and I know that can't be changed

[Sophia1]

Hello @Steven78 

Isolation is such a dreadful situation.

I can only empathise from my own experience as is different for each person.

I know that I struggle when I cannot leave the house in understanding such a concept when there are other times that I just leave the house.

I feel for you reading your words.

In particular when you say that you do not have a choice in the matter even though reaching out.

I read your words on a previous post again and you used "speak".

Are you aware that if you ring Sane you can speak to people who has some awareness, perhaps even experience in isolation?

There are peer support workers and they are like us; they have life experience in different areas.

If you would be comfortable talking one to one to someone with lived experience you could respond by asking for support in doing that.

Again I do not want to pressure you.

I feel that I understand some of what you are trying to explain.

The written word on a forum is nothing like having a conversation with another human being.

A one to one conversation with a person you can trust will allow you time to speak; will listen to you and guarantee complete confidentiality.

If I have overstepped my offer of help here and am intruding on your space, please let me know.

Again I will not be offended.

This is your thread started by you. I want more than anything to show you respect.

I will be guided by your wishes and will stop replying if you ask me to.

If so. Please know that you are a human being who has the same rights as everyone else.

I commend you on speaking up and hope that you will continue to assert your rights.

Take care

Sophia

[Steven78]

Yes that's correct I don't have a choice. Yes I have called the line but it's very impersonal unfortunately...so I have tried all the lines available but once again there is no personal conversation it's all so very clinical. As a worthless individual there is no one to speak to that cares ! I can personally guarantee that!

[Sophia1]

Hello @Steven78 

Oh no that is not good to hear that you were left feeling that way.

That is not an indication that you are a worthless individual at all.

Sadly our minds can take us down the path of blaming ourselves and feeling that no-one cares as you stated.

I do know that I am right in saying to you that every single person who has taken the time to respond to your posts on here does care though. That is why they respond.

Isolating also is our worst enemy as it does affect how we think about ourselves.

If we have a history of being treated poorly by family or people in our lives it makes it so hard.

I go through this pattern myself.

Yet when I can get outside because I have to; I notice some change.

The world is very challenging at the moment isn't it.

I care about you for what it is worth even though I have not met you.

I care because you are a human being with feelings.

I hope that does not sound lame.

Are you able to look outside and see the sky or clouds or nature of any kind?

This helps me when I cannot leave the house.

Tell me to stop writing if you want me to.

I do not want to disrespect or offend you.

Sophia

[Steven78]

I understand what you're saying and I appreciate the kind words , unfortunately the reality is that I am very isolated and having not one person to talk to does mean that I am unimportant/ worthless ..that's just the reality of the situation.

Going outside and looking at things is great but not for me .

[Sophia1]

Hello @Steven78 

I appreciate your reply and your honesty.

Again I myself believe that there is a difference in being isolated and having nobody to have a conversation with and who you are as a person.

In fact I believe quite the opposite.

My reason is this:

You want to talk to someone.

That in itself makes you worthwhile and important as a human being who strongly  wants to communicate.

There are some people in the world who just do not want to talk to others.

Do you enjoy doing anything inside the house if you do not like going outside?

Sophia

[Steven78]

It's difficult. I've tried reaching out but at the end of the day it's really gotten me no where.

I think essentially connection is extremely important and once we don't have that by Virtue of being of no significance to others we are left with no alternative,there is no substitute for it . There is no one I can pick up the phone and speak to personally..

[Steven78]

Being asleep once I finally get to sleep is the only mild respite I get.

[tyme]

I'm sorry to hear how painful isolation is for you @Steven78 .

I used to have many people around me but I felt isolated. Yes, there were people I could call and talk to, but I did not have the desire to. Mentally, I felt alone and isolated.

Being on these forums taught me to to re-connect with people. The forums allowed me to 'practice' communicating with people in a way I felt comfortable. Don't get me wrong, there WERE misunderstandings sometimes, just as there would be in face-to-face communication - but I persevered. 

I am now a lot more confident in sharing my story and connecting with people. If anything, I long to be alone and be away from people sometimes!

Bottom line, use every opportunity to connect with people (if you want to). If may not go according to plan, but that IS the plan! And when the opportunity to talk to people face-to-face arises, grasp it!

All the best. I look forward to connecting with you in this online space.

Kindest, tyme

[Sophia1]

Hello @Steven78 

This is a much more shortened version of my initial response.

I tend to write epic replies.

I do not want to overwhelm you.

Thank you for continuing to reply to myself and @tyme whom I have interracted with before and found very supportive.

Your situation is not good at all.

That part I cannot help you with in as much as the people involved or the circumstances.

You do not need to divulge any of this either.

We can talk without knowing each other's story.

I want to say to you though that there are many more people in the world whom you have not yet met.

The ones who have disrespected you are the people who have the problem.

They do not have the right to judge you.

You are not who they say you are.

You are a human being with rights the same as everyone.

You are not unimportant; a failure; worthless because they say so or because they have put you in your situation.

You still matter. You still have rights. You will still be valued and have opportunitites to meet others within your life.

You are in the part where it does not seem like that and that is why I commend you on reaching out here, still and talking about how you feel.

You will be supported.

This is a virtual phone call that does not disconnect unless you want it to.

Taking into consideration time availability and circumstances.

Those are exactly the same conditions as a phone call.

This way opens up more opportunities as you can write when it suits you and when you feel able to also.

I want to send you some sunshine.

Please accept this as a way of my thanking you for communicating with me.

💛

ps

please remember anytime you feel that you do not want to talk to me anymore you have that right.

you virtually hang up the phone hopefully saying goodbye first.

Take care