Lived Experience Forum

[1966retrocat]

Hi there,

I have just joined the forum, and I was just wanted to talk about social isolation.  I find when I am struggling mentally, I withdraw from people, and this has now caused a void in my life where I don't have people who are friends.  I am very fortunate to have the love, acceptance and understanding of my husband, and a good friend who has known me since I was diagnosed 31 years ago.  I just wondered if others find it hard in group settings, to keep up with people's conversations without running the risk of interrupting, and a bit shy to start with?  I find I am not good in group settings, as I literally end up saying nothing because it is like I can't keep up, and I find I am "lost for words", and feel quite shy, as well.  I find loneliness the biggest struggle, and the most crippling.  I consider myself to be an optimist, and a problem solver, and I realise loneliness does not have to defeat me. I know that social isolation can be a symptom of my illness, something that I know I struggle with.  Thank you for reading my post and sharing with me any of your thoughts.  I wish you all well.

[Mazarita]

Hi @1966retrocat, welcome. 🙂

Like you, I too am one who has a strong tendency to withdraw into my home. I too am lucky to have a kind companion. Since starting to get myself out of the flat more over the past couple of years, I have developed a few nice friends in the local area where I live, also a blessing. I've been shy since childhood, really it was probably more than shyness in childhood too as I remember experiencing a lot of symptoms of anxiety and depression as well throughout that time of my life. Over time I have developed better skills to deal with this social awkwardness I experience, but the feelings often remain on the inside and I can not depend on myself to be able to always manage social situations well. 

One of the things that has helped me connect a little more widely outside the home over the past couple of years is attending activities at a local community mental health organisation. They run support groups, coffee groups that meet in cafes, occasional arts and crafts workshops and more. The other thing that has helped a lot is connecting to the Phams program (Personal Helpers and Mentors). This has given me a support worker over the past year or so who helps me in my efforts to leave the flat and connect more with the community. Something like these programs might be available too in your area.

I have found this forum also helps alleviate feelings of isolation with my mental health issues, though of course it doesn't replace real life friends. In addition to any efforts you might make to connect more with people in the real world, I hope you find it helpful to join in with us at the forum too. There's support and understanding to be found here. Wishing you well.

[Former-Member]

@1966retrocat a big friendly welcome to the forums 🙂

im the same, i tend to try to isolate myself all the time. im really shy and until i get to know you most of the time i wont say a peep, even if the conversation interests me. so your definently not alone here.

i agree with @Mazarita coming onto the forums and even contributing abit to a conversation that you know something about e.g a coping strategy that might benefit someone else can help reduce thos feelings of isolation.

thank you for sharing your post, feel free to keep adding things to this post or contributing to another thread, your always welcome here and you have my support as well as many others im sure

[jamesle2015]

I have agoraphobia, anxiety and DPD

[Scizoaffected]

Hi all. I am also new to the forum and like you guys, struggle with isolation and lonlieness. I will be more active on the forum since I found it. It really is a relief to come across people who are brace enough to talk about it. Thank you

[Former-Member]

Welcome to the forums @Scizoaffected.

[Matt12]

Hi, I get it..I have been advised to engaged and put your self out their without expectations..easy to say and hard to do, I close down outside of work due my "condition" which has made my social isolation untenable as I have no frends and need to develope as social isolation is bad and leads to dark places.

[Kate3]

Hi! I totally understand what you are saying. I have a husband and a best female friend of 23 years - they are my friends. I try, but don't understand how people start and continue friendships .... I can start them but get tired of having to do all the contacting. I joined a volunteer women's group to make some friends and overcome my anxiety. Well today we had a luncheon and while I did talk a little, I remembered why I find groups so tricky!!! They all seemed to talk around me and as usual I got a feeling I don't entirely fit in. I just want to have some female pals to chat with

[Mazarita]

Hi @Kate3, welcome to the forum. 

[Former-Member]

sometimes the world drives us underground

that's our chance to self care & get strong again