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Something’s not right

chibam
Senior Contributor

How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

I've been a deluded fool, for as long as I can remember; because the truth is too horrifying.

 

I've always clutched to that dream that one day, after all these years of emptiness and suffering, some miracle will occur, and make everything right. Some white lady-knight will come charging in, flanked by green berets and flashbangs, to whisk me off to a happy ending that will end up justifying all the anguish I've endured to get there.

 

It's been over ten years now, since my second therapist decreed that there was no hope for me. No hope of love, or family, or friendship, or accomplishment, or career. The therapist before her did as much, as well. I didn't want to believe it. So I clung to the hope that there was a bright future ahead; desperately trying to blind myself to the world going on around me, with all it's ugliness and indications that their predictions were true.

 

But how can you cling to hope when you see that so many people are in just as dire straits - or worse - then you, and nobody's come along to rescue them yet? If there isn't even help for them, well, it's absurd to believe that there'll ever be help for someone like me.

 

I feel sorry for the people who are just falling in to their crisis today, or tomorrow; who don't yet understand the true horror of their plight, because they still naievely believe that people help one another; that there's a system to catch them and send them off to where they belong. They say that misery loves company. I've never found that to be the case.

 

I've been reading some of the testimony of people who went through Robodebt, and it is utterly horrifying. The worst part is, it's apparently still going on! I don't understand how anybody with a conscience can read stories like that, and then with a straight face promise suicidal people that: "There is help available!"

 

Mr. Perrotet has promised a marvelous surge of new jobs if we reelect him. Once upon a time, I would've responded with: "We can only hope!" But I don't have any hope left anymore.

 

 

38 REPLIES 38

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

I'm sad to hear you don't have any hope left, @chibam  😞

 

I think those two therapists were very, very wrong in telling you you had no hope of a good future. They were wrong in saying it, and they were wrong in thinking it. 

 

I know you will say I don't know you well enough to say that. But I think there's always hope. I really hope you can get some hope. 

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

@chibam 

I'm a Christian. Or atleast I'm trying to be, as I often lose faith along my way...

With respect to whatever your own religious standing may be, I'd like to respond from within my own familiar parameters...

In Genesis, in the bible, it speaks of God creating everything, and it was good! But there was one thing that even God recognised wasn't good. It was when He created Adam and saw that he was alone... So he made a companion.

Even still, we are made as individuals: as such we are endowed the resource of self love and consideration; of hope and desire; of purpose and capacity for fulfilment. We not only have a capacity, but even an obligation to do for ourselves - to some extent. 

I know how easy it can be at times to overlook our own internal resources and strengths...believe me, I feel hopeless myself these days. Utterly! But I am hoping to hope again...

Yet I know there is no one can do or feel the things that only I can... But there is support along they way. Like learning to ride a bike, or walk again: there's help to get you going, and some people take longer than others. But ultimately you have to do it yourself, after drawing encouragement and strength from others if need be...

"God can bring you ashore, but you must first raise the sails."

Forgive me if it sounds I am talking at you, but I suggest you find something small to start with that might give you the opportunity to gain a sense of achievement. And draw on that today to allow yourself a taste of self satisfaction.

And please, write back and share once again. Or even if you don't manage to get there, keep in touch, regardless. 

Kind regards.

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

Hi @chibam , I have a weird blend of Science and Religion going on in my mind to try and make sense of the world around me. I got told I would probably be on medication for the rest of my life (not really told that there was no hope for me). That is completely unconscionable for a professional. I don't wish to preach false hope but after my 'diagnosis' I could sense the only way I was heading was into oblivion, the mental health service seemed to only be making things worse. I still have issues but I can see into the future, for me just seeing a future is enough to give me some hope. I have travelled a little (sometimes overseas) but apart from showing me I had a lot of problems, it gave me a better perspective on life too.

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

I've been feeling rather mentally and physically exhausted in recent times, @chibam, and just haven't felt up to responding to posts...but here I am. Better late than never?

 

I don't have anything uplifting to say, but just needed to say that life wasn't meant to be this difficult. We got dealt a dud hand and we have to deal with it as best we can. 

 

My hope is burnt out, too. I hope yours might rekindle.

 

I hope your day is bright and sunny, and that you get to enjoy a bit of it.

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

@Historylover 

🫂 it's like Pharaohs tide over again, isn't it...?

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

Hi @Historylover . Thanks for the response. 🙂


@Historylover wrote:

I hope your day is bright and sunny, and that you get to enjoy a bit of it.


I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of that message. As I look out my window right now, it is pouring cats and dogs outside. 😏

 

Your right, though, about life. I don't know about difficult, but it certainly wasn't meant to be so hopeless. I can't help but recall an exchange I saw once on The Simpsons:

Bart: Hey, I though you wanted a challenge?

Lisa: Duh. A challenge I could do!

 

For me, the issue isn't that happy endings are hard work to attain; it's that their seemingly impossible to attain.

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

Well, @chibam, rain is good too, and irony can bring a smile to our faces. 

 

I'm with Lisa. 😊

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

Hey there, @chibam. Just sending good wishes for the 23rd March and hoping today is a good one for you. 😎☀️

 

 

Re: How Can There Be Hope, When People Even Worse Off Then Me Aren't Getting The Help They Need?

Hi @chibam 

 

I didn't need to look outside - it's pouring with rain outside and I have washing on the line which must have dried overnight - and crash - thunder!!! - perhaps I should close my computer but no - I will finish this.

 

I am sorry you have lost hope - and I ask which is worse - lost hope or false hope? I can't answer that - I think the doctors who told you that you had no hope for a better life were wrong unless there was an "unless" in there somewhere. It was a cruel thing for someone to say and devastating to hear - I am sure.

 

And rescue - yes - for years I had thought I might be rescued from the dark years I was living through - way back in time now. My psychiatrist said there was no rescue - yes - there had been in the past when I was a small child - my grandmother would rescue me from my mother but taking me to her place for however long - I had my own room there and didn't think that was strange until recently when I really did know my grandmother really a powerful person in my life and gave me a safe place to be when she could.

 

As an adult - that safe place was long gone - this same psychiatrist also told me that things would change - I told him that thing kept getting worse and what could change. Things did in a really bad way so yeah - what was that about?

 

In time my minister told me that he couldn't change anything in my life - but I could - and the lights went on and I changed everything about myself I could - from my marital status to my name. I moved. I got a new car. I finished my pass degree and went on to my Honours degree and kept going. It wasn't easy. The best thing is I found myself and that is worth everything.

 

But yes - it was very hard.

 

So - I don't know much about your circumstances and if there is anything you can change. seeing as I have been through my circumstances - I know it's hard to start. If you are in a dark place it is hard to find a better way - those psychiatrists were wrong to destroy the little hope you had. There is always change - it's one of the few things in this life we can rely on to happen - change - things always change.

 

I do wish you the best and I am glad I found this thread this morning. I'm sorry this has happened to you and hope you can find the help you need. But it remains true. The bottom line is something I read a long time ago - when everyone is swimming for the lifeboats no one cares about anything else. We have to help ourselves and learn that we are the only person we can really rely upon.

 

I can see - life has been cruel to you.

 

And here there is still heavy rain and thunder - it's Melbourne - we can be very sure the weather will change soon.

 

All the best -

 

Owlunar

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