Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

One word, that sums it up.

This morning I have nothing left to say.

I keep up a positive facade, smile at my husband, made plans to see a friend, who's sick, have to see my GP and know who to call for admission if I need to.

I'm sorry I can't be optimistic, I think I'm realistic and the waiting game is destroying me inside.

[Former-Member]

It's hard being a realistic sometimes. People view us as one sided and negative which is not true and rather annoying.

I personally believe we see the world for what it is and I find because we live in flat reality not fairy world it helps me talckle my mental illness. I find we are more black and white and get to the big picture quicker. We look at the world with realistic goals and break down how we are going to get there and actually make it. I also find we know as we are realists that we know the numbness and fake smile will turn into feelings and true emotions again. Nothing wrong with being a realist as long as you don't turn into a pessimist.

[Former-Member]

we just need to learn how to use our way of thinking for good and not negative

[utopia]

@Former-Member - it's okay to be numb. Sometimes that is our body and minds way of protecting us when we are on overload.
It won't last. As @Former-Member said - eventually your emotions will return.
Please be gentle with yourself.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member and @utopia

I am still numb. Now I have learnt what stigma and discrimination is

S some

T total

I idiot

G giving

M me

A anxiety

D dangerous

I idiot

S selling

C coldly

R remaining

I ideals,

M my

I ideals

N not

A anyone's

T treasure.

I I'm

O only

N numb

[utopia]

There are idiots out there & some do like to think they know it all.
Would love those people to walk a week in my shoes. Then they will learn that depression is not sadness.
Please try to ignore these 'word wasters'. @Former-Member.
Sending you hugs ♥♥♥

[Former-Member]

I am so angry

I am so sad

I am so cranky

They took all that I had

These little twats

Don't deserve better

I kick 'em in their backs

And serve them a letter

I wish it will hurt

I wish 'em some pains

I am now alert

And pick what remains

They've broken my heart

My heart that was good

They don't give a fart

And kick with their foot

I'm numb in my brain

I'm lost in the world

All I feel is pain

And my head is all swirled

[Former-Member]

Beautifully strong written words @Former-Member
Hugs for the meaning behind the poem.
Here with you, in the swirling and hoping that it will get easier,
lj

[Former-Member]

I'm happy to cyber kick these people for you

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member it is just so nice to see you back 

That numb feeling shuts away all our hurt and our pain until we are much better able to cope with those feelings - neither is an easy place to be. I certainly don't have any answers here for you or advice to give, but I can say I hear you and am standing right beside you.