Lived Experience Forum

[FloatingFeather]

Uni can be pretty heavy @creative_writer. As a peer support worker I think one of the things I have (and you will have) that other graduates in this type of field may not have is the lived experience, and that knowledge and insight can't be found in any textbook.

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeather, lived experience is a heavy price to pay 😢. I feel so flat out today, like I have no energy, lightheaded and migrainey. This rainy weather isn’t helping me feel any better, I feel like my brain is producing too much melatonin, it feels like nap time.

[creative_writer]

I don't feel like going to my online class today, I don't want to be triggered 😞 , don't need to be reminded of my brokenness. I'm too scared to say anything, I know my tutor and the unit coordinator are really sweet and lovely but I haven't coped well over the weekend. Body flashbacks are gruesome. I need to feel more stable, I am even hoping to do placement this year.

[Paperdaisy]

I hope you can do something nice for yourself tonight instead @creative_writer Please take care 

[creative_writer]

I had a pdoc appointment today. The pdoc didn’t want to change my meds too much and said I could increase one of my meds if I wanted to. I feel torn. It may help. But then there is increased risk of side effects in my small body. There is also the cost since it’s a private med too. I feel so confused.

[creative_writer]

Just when I thought the day couldn’t get worse, it does. Didn’t do so well in my last assignment. It is well below my usual standards. I know it might sounds like an overreaction to a lot of people. I feel like I fail if I don’t get the highest grade possible. I guess I’m not good enough.

[Jynx]

Aww @creative_writer that is so rough. It sounds like you hold yourself to a pretty high standard, which isn't necessarily a bad thing - it can push us to go beyond our comfort zone and really strive for our goals. I think the pitfall is that sometimes we then might attach our sense of self-worth to our achievements, and thus feel pretty awful if we don't reach the goals we set. 

Can you think of something you are proud of? Like maybe reflect on what you have learned from the assignment, which parts of it you feel were really good, or something like that. 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx, I suppose not all of it is awful, there were areas I performed better in. I feel like I have to be perfect at everything in order to be good enough or loveable. By being perfect I make up for the other aspects that I can’t control like my MH, chronic migraines and trauma history. I feel like I need to work harder to prove myself because I have so much baggage.

[creative_writer]

I need a hug really badly. My heart is crying 😞

[creative_writer]

I don’t know why I’m still in the library if I’m not studying.