Lived Experience Forum

[creative_writer]

I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare and be okay. I am tired. Tired of depression, social anxiety, cptsd and migraines. When will it leave?

[Eve7]

Sitting with you @creative_writer 

💙🤗💙

[creative_writer]

@Eve7it’s just a bad evening. I think my migraine took me over the edge too. Moodiness and migraines are so intertwined, it becomes a chicken and egg situation. I’m just tired of being in so much pain, my days are so unproductive and I am achieving nothing. I’m not living the life I want. I’m just in survival mode. I’m afraid I don’t have many painkiller options due to my prescribed meds, and besides, already been having lots of heartburn which can cause pain if not controlled. Why is the wait for psychiatrists so long? 2 months feels like a longtime. 😢. Maybe I should take my PRN today since I’m going downhill.

💖🫂💖

[creative_writer]

I feel so flat. Like I’m not as agitated and suicidal as I was last night. The PRN helped with the agitation and the thoughts. May have just helped me get through yesterday safely. I’m left just feeling depressed and exhausted. Been physically unwell too and it’s making me so fatigued and sleepy.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @creative_writer,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way - I would imagine being psychically unwell isn't helping how you feel either. It is good to read that the PRN was able to help you a bit with your agitation and thoughts.

Hope you feel better soon and that flat feeling lifts for you soon.

FloatingFeather ❤️  

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeather just trying to push through. Depression appears to have a mind of its own, it’ll come whenever it wants, and leave whenever it wants. I had two days of respite a week and a half ago, but then it came back. It just decided to go and come, I can’t even explain to you why. It’s happened before. But once it’s here, it can last a long time before it goes. I don’t understand my brain. However, once I did start feeling low again, rumination didn’t help and just fed the cycle. Interestingly enough, i did have a migraine when I went into the low. Then again, a lot of my migraines have happened in a low mood and I’ve had migraines in an euphoric mood too. And apparently mood changes is a migraine symptom too. They are often so intertwined, I don’t know which one causes the other, or perhaps, they cause each other and are triggered by similar things.

♥️

[FloatingFeather]

I didn't know that mood changes is a migraine symptom @creative_writer. Although now that I think about it makes sense. I was a bit flat a couple of weeks ago and had a migraine (which I don't usually get) - perhaps that's why the migraine come on?

I empathise with you around depression, I've been down that rabbit hole a couple of times in my life and it was no fun. Took a lot of work and energy (which is ironic because I had little energy when I was depressed) to crawl back out of but I did eventually get there. 

I really hope you start to feel a positive shift soon and you start to feel better ❤️ 

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeathermigraines are so weird and not pleasant. Moodiness is a very common symptom of migraines. It sort of makes sense, some mood meds are used for migraines.

I had a shower, feeling a bit better and more clean. I find myself second guessing my ability to make decisions regarding my care. There is so much anxiety. Maybe it’s a consequence of overprotective parenting. My parents still think I’m a naive little girl. My parents didn’t trust people, it’s been hard. And trauma confirms why I shouldn’t trust people.

💖

[creative_writer]

I know they usually recommend you have multiple supports. But I am scared of opening up. I have always been guarded.

[creative_writer]

If I don’t trust, how can I heal? But I don’t want to get hurt. I am afraid I trust my supporting team too much, it makes me want to close off. Nobody ever feels safe.