Acceptance is hard work

[AuntGlow]

Hello @MissinTooth, how are you feeling today? 💛✨

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow I seem to be experiencing a few down days. I'm at work at the moment though, so I'm just getting it done! Don't worry about me though. 

[AuntGlow]

@MissinTooth I get that, I go through lots of peaks and troughs too. ☺️

I will be here when you finish work if you want to have a yap! 

[MissinTooth]

Thank you @AuntGlow 

We'll chat later.

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow how do you manage those troughs?

Because everything feels hard, everything feels like a battle and I just...part of me wants to curl up in a ball and just be done. 

[AuntGlow]

@MissinTooth I hear you, it really can feel like so much to manage at times. I think when we feel like this, it's helpful to do exactly that - curl up in a ball, honour what we are feeling and allow ourselves to move through it organically (without pushing or forcing). This may not seem overly productive, but putting feelings aside or not giving them the attention they need, is like trying to silence a crying child - it helps the most when they are held. 💛

So, to answer your question, I try and do this. I also talk out how I am feeling with people I trust, journal, or move my body (to help shift stuck feelings). 

I also find turning to familiar things helpful, like favourite music, TV shows, foods - it can help the brain feel safe. 

Let me know your thoughts on all of this when you are ready! ✨

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow it feels so...against everything that I've learnt to do. Soldier on, don't show weakness or vulnerability, always be okay...even when you're not. 

[AuntGlow]

I completely get this @MissinTooth. With how the world teaches us to act, alongside your upbringing, it makes sense that this concept would feel alien. That's okay and very, very common. We are learning to soften as a society, ever so slowly... but we are getting there. 

Are you familiar with the Holistic Psychologist's work? She talks a lot about reparenting, and something I enjoy is her idea of keeping one small promise to yourself a day.

So, setting an intention to find ways to soften each day could be a focus for you this week (if you'd like to try it out)? What ideas come to mind when I say the word 'soften'? 

Remember, this is all just a practice of building a new muscle. It's okay for it to take time and feel clunky at first (I am still working on this too). 💕

[Till23]

Hi @MissinTooth I hear you on this subject. I am not the best person to comment on this because I am not very good at this sort of stuff either, but as I have been dealing with the last 3 years of cancers, other chronic diseases and deaths. I know that sometimes you do need to not soldier on and reach out for help, or for other support. It's OK to take a "Mental Health Day" etc. Because are you really performing at your best? It is hard to see what the real situation is when you are in this "soldiering on" space. It is amazing when you mention that you are not OK, how many people say oh I've been there, or my sibling, parent, kid whatever has been there. It can actually strengthen relationships. I have known this for a long time, but somehow I didn't think it applied to me.

[MissinTooth]

@AuntGlow I haven't heard of the Holistic Psychologist, but I love anything that's Holistic. I'm big on body, mind, soul, universe connection. Or I try to be. I find that I often neglect one or two and don't have balance though. 

I'd like to try it out but it makes me feel pretty vulnerable, if I'm honest. 

Can you help me with ideas? I want to do this...but I'm really dysregulated and my focus is not focusing and my brain isn't not thinking. I'm trying. 

Soften...like the Needoh squishes I like to fidget with...working it until it's softer and warmer and has more give. That's terrible, I'm sorry.