Lived Experience Forum

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @creative_writer 🙂🌺

I hope the rest of your evening went ok after dinner 🌺

so sorry to have not replied..i wasn’t feeling the best physically after taking immune meds. 

did you get some sleep there? 

thanks so much regarding the muffins..I had one and they were really nice. I put some out near my door for my neighbours in little containers 🙂

I hope your day goes ok today sweetheart 🙂💜🌺

[creative_writer]

@PinkFlamingo no need to apologise, totally get it, I think that's one of the great things about the forums, we can respond at our own pace.

I slept okay and I'm just resting up this afternoon. Assignments can really drain you, one is submitted and the other one is pretty much done, I'll have a look at it if I have time before submitting it on Friday. I have a busy week ahead, at some point you do need to move on from assignments. I was not fortunate to get a break, but it's okay, life happens. I have a big record of always getting assignment extensions, I find it very difficult to complete things on time, something that probably needs some work on.

I hope today has been better for you 💜 ❤️

[PinkFlamingo]

Thanks heaps for that @creative_writer 🤗🌺💜

glad to hear you slept ok and have had a chance to rest after submitting one of the assignments, and the other is nearly done..it’s a good feeling being on the other side of the mountain climb of big tasks, I find 🙂🌺

I hope the coming week goes well, and I do agree that there does come a time to know that the work is good enough to submit without taking time away to do more that is of lesser value than the time spent to do so 🙂

Yes, having extensions I do understand is like not getting things in on time in a way, however I also extend timeframes as much as I can because it gives me the space I need based on reduced capacity; I kind of think of it like this: I have less capacity so to provide equity, I take longer; whereas someone with breather capacity can achieve the same in a shorter time. Same result (assignment done), just achieved in different ways because the variables are different due to individual differences. Therefore there really is no ‘weak point’ that needs work with obtaining extensions when capacity is less. To not have extensions when capacity is reduced means working harder to achieve the same thing in the same timeframes as a person with greater work capacity. This applies across many areas of life, work, and society 🙂🌺

One thing I do think is that people with reduced work capacity who also live with mental health concerns have often been made to feel undeserving of any adjustments 💜 which then results in lots of additional pressure to produce results despite needing supports, extra time, or alternate task parameters 🙂

…sorry for the long tangent - I tend to ramble a bit sometimes! 😊

today has been a good day here thank you dearest, and I hope you’re doing ok this evening 💜🙂🌺

[creative_writer]

I do feel lazy for always getting extensions. But my brain doesn’t always concentrate, at times, I get stuff done at the last moment because it’s hard getting started. It has caused enormous amount of stress. I’m talking about new deadlines after extension. Extensions don’t make me space out my work, I often end up still cramming. The only thing that really got me through this assignment patch was matcha, I can’t do anything without my cuppa. I felt like I had zero capacity to function. I know this is probably something that warrants further investigation. I always thought I was stupid and lazy, but now I am starting to wonder whether there is something going on here. In fact, not being able to do thing feeds into the cptsd rumination. All this time I thought I was not making enough effort in therapy, it turns out I probably had a block in my brain.

It is hard with reduced capacity. I hope the evening goes okay for you. I am having the evening slump right now, migraines love the evenings

@PinkFlamingo 

[PinkFlamingo]

Yeah I do understand what you are saying regarding extensions @creative_writer 💜

Its not easy to remain on a schedule with cPTSD .. I can relate to not starting work adding to stress xx

How are you doing today? 

I hope things have been going alright, and your evening is ok xx

[creative_writer]

@PinkFlamingo placement went alright, but ended up with a migraine. Probably sensory overload from the bright lights 😢. It’s actually really bad right now, that I feel tempted to do some **** ******* . I can’t mention what I mean on here, I will be censored. I’m okay, I won’t do it because it will only result in a worse migraine

[Jynx]

Hey @creative_writer sorry you've had a day full of sensory overload. I hope you've recovered/your migraine has eased off? 

Be gentle with yourself hun, you'll never have to do today again 💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I felt better once I slept it off. It was pretty awful yesterday so I took my amber blue light blocking glasses and feel better. I was in a bad way last night, I wanted to die so I went to bed early. It may sound a little extreme but the pain was very unbearable, both physical and emotional

[Jynx]

@creative_writer I'm sorry things were so dang rough yesterday, I'm glad you found your way through. Has today been easier on you? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I’m better but I have no idea why I’m teary though. I had a good day on placement and my supervisor was really nice. She even let me play with her sensory toys, I think she intuitively recognised my tendency to stim. Maybe it has nothing to do with placement. Maybe it’s just nighttime depression. My thoughts become more disorganised and loud when the night comes